Unfortunately our slick military operation doesn’t always work, and this is what happens when it fails... and quite miserably too...
The one that got away
On a weekday evening when I’m in the kitchen with my husband, our male cat Jason appears through the cat-flap with something long, dark and ‘taily’ hanging out of his mouth. As we are both nearby, we can react quickly so I grab Jason and he instantly drops the mouse into my husband’s hands. Result! Or so we thought....
While I move to open the back door to let my husband out into the garden, our other cat Milly appears from nowhere and gets under my husbands feet. He stumbles and drops the mouse which promptly escapes behind the washing machine. There is some swearing at this point from my husband and we banish both cats into the living room.
We have an 'old-school' washer-dryer (its actually a tumble drier on top of the washing machine) so with some considerable effort, we pull this out along with the fridge freezer. No mouse runs out but we see a tiny hole in the skirting board behind the washing machine. Well that's that then! We’ll have to wait for the mouse to either move, or else die and leave behind a small smelly corpse.
Later when the cats are allowed back in the kitchen, they spend around two hours staring at the bottom of the oven. Completely unrelated I imagine.....
As there’s not much we can do about it, we forget about it for the next couple of days. Then, our next door neighbour (on our ‘attached’ side), pops round to warn us of a mouse infestation in their house. They say a mouse has been in their kitchen cupboards and left droppings and nibbled food. The little bugger has crossed over into their house!
We admit it straight away and confess the crimes of the cats. Thankfully our neighbours are good-humoured about it and offer to keep us updated. They are a retired couple and I think they might secretly enjoy the drama!
Next day my husband buys a couple of humane mouse-traps and to tempt the mouse - some chocolate spread - supermarkets own, not Nutella (its a mouse, not the queen) He read online that this will be more tempting than cheese to the mouse.We give one to our neighbours and set the other one up ourselves in the kitchen behind the oven.
We have no idea whether this will be successful or not, but next morning when we come down we can see it’s been set off and the mouse is in it! My husband releases it in the garden and it runs free. We toast our success with - well toast actually and chocolate spread. Success has never tasted so sweet!
Mouse Striptease!
The next story is even more ridiculous, especially when you consider that the whole thing happened in less than 5 minutes.
I am on my own in my house one evening and Jason appears in the kitchen doorway with a mouse. I spring up and move toward him but he is obviously expecting this and he growls fiercely at me and fluffs up his tail. Well that's never happened before...
The door to upstairs is unfortunately open and he runs up the stairs with his prey. I trail after him without a clue what to do when I catch up with him. All the upstairs doors are open and I would rather see him eat the mouse than have it escape up there. Naturally he makes a beeline for our bedroom and I corner him there. But of course you can't corner a cat (unless your legs are made of sheet metal or something) and he runs between my legs and back downstairs, still growling crossly at me. Once downstairs, I remember the drill and shut the door to upstairs. Once we’re in the kitchen, I even manage to shut the kitchen door behind us too, sealing us in.
I have never caught a mouse on my own and can’t see myself being able to hold it long without dropping it. First I try holding Jason with one hand and trying to get the mouse out of his mouth and into a tupperware container with the other. Of course this doesn't work and Jason and I struggle fruitlessly. Next I grab a towel, steady Jason between my legs (gently of course! no cats were harmed etc etc...) I then somehow manage to trap the mouse under the towel . I place the tupperware container over it for added security and dispatch a furious Jason into the living room. As I open the door and push him through, Milly shoots through under him taking his place in the kitchen as I close the door! Dammit!
Of course she pounces on the suspicious lump on the kitchen floor but I whip her away quickly and pop her back in the living room. Thankfully Jason doesn't slide in as I push her out. He was too busy removing a picture from my living room wall, as it turned out.
Anyway, back to the mouse. I try to get it from under the towel into the tupperware box, so I lift the towel slightly and hold the tupperware box just above the gap. In my mind this can’t fail.
However I’m wearing a baggy jumper and what actually happens is that the mouse runs out from the towel and up my sleeve. EEEK! I can feel it wriggling around up there trying to get higher. I clamp my left hand onto the wriggling lump on my right arm and trap it at elbow level. Unfortunately we have reached a bit of a stalemate as there’s no one around to help me get it out.
Thinking quick, I grab the back door key with my still functioning right hand, with my left hand gripping the mouse lump all the while. I let myself outside into the back garden and try to shake the mouse out of my sleeve. Unfortunately it clings on for dear life and doesn't want to go down, only up.
I then do the only thing I can. I let go of the lump, shuddering as it moves up my arm and I peel my jumper off and throw it on the lawn. Thank goodness I’m wearing a vest! This is December and while its pitch black outside, our garden is bathed in about a million watts of security light! Its also overlooked by about 20 other houses.
The mouse runs for dear life and I grab my jumper and head indoors not looking too closely for curtain twitchers staring at the crazy lady who runs out of her house on a cold frosty night and whips her top off on the lawn. Even though I’m shaken, I know it will be a great story to tell to my husband and friends the next day. I keep the cats in all night and Jason and I eventually forgive each other.
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